“Beware, dangerous scrolling up ahead.” That is what the disclaimer should read when logging into social media and should appear across the screen of our minds when we began to assess the lives of others. Before you read any further, please understand that this is no way is saying you should go on a social media cleanse or delete all of your accounts and dump your digital foot print. However, this is more to peek your awareness of what some, well many, including myself have done and do multiple times a day when trolling the timelines, news feeds and videos and snippets on social media. It calls, consumes and condemns, but you can cast it out. Yes, beware of the killer called comparison.
It calls you, it pulls you into scrolling during your idol time. In waiting rooms, in transit, while walking, while enjoying recreation, even sacred family time is nulled by this distraction. If you’re not careful, the digital connection can cause a digital divide. Be aware. Did you log on to check one thing, to check in with a friend, send a message or update your status and suddenly you find yourself trolling the timeline of an old friend wondering how does she still look so good when you’re fighting to lose those stubborn 15 pounds? Or do you subconsciously compare the success of an acquaintance or colleague and admire their perfect poses, immaculately crafted clothes and picturesque life? I know, you’re thinking, “I don’t have time for that,” “I didn’t get on for this, and I don’t care what other people are doing.” Well, can I be honest? Of course you do! We all do. And there is nothing wrong with connecting our lives in support of others, staying in touch and in tune with the latest happenings. My intent is to simply make you aware of the divide between connecting and comparing.
Let me put it this way, if you find yourself more curious about the lives of others than crafting and cultivating your own, you are in the throes of the killer called comparison. Okay, still not so sure you have been effected by this sneaky little distraction, maybe social media isn’t your thing. Well this confidence and dream killer doesn’t just live on social media, but in social circles, at the office, and even, yes even in the church and places of worship. Let me help you out.
Symptoms of the Killer Called Comparison:
• Aimlessly scrolling through social media and comparing your life to others
• Forsaking your dreams because you don’t feel ready enough to pursue them
• Looking at an old ex, friend or acquaintance and assessing if their life looks better or worse with or without you
• Coveting the possessions, likeness or image of someone else
Comparison Consumes and Condemns
Comparison is a dream killer. It consumes your time and prevents you from executing ideas given only to you and deceives you into thinking that you won’t do it as well as someone else. Comparison is no respecter of person. It creeps in through greed and is the precursor to jealously if you’re not careful. Moment of truth: this was me. I can speak about this so clearly because of the awareness and ability to conquer and claim back my dreams and goals daily. Here’s some insight on how it consumes.
Symptoms of How Comparison Consumes and Condemns:
• You have a dream you put on hold because you’re doubting yourself (newsflash, what made you think that you can’t do it just as good as or better than someone else? That’s called comparison).
• It consumes your precious time. It is literally a time killer. It causes you to constantly put goals and ideas on hold because you don’t feel you are prepared enough
• It condemns by causing you to focus on what you haven’t accomplished versus celebrating what you have achieved
• You began to pursue more qualifications to finish something when you are already equipped to do the work. This is a distraction that eats your time and resources that should be delegating to complete the assignment, not to scatter and derail you.
My friends, my purpose is again to bring awareness not contempt. I can talk about this because I’ve been there. Trust me, what’s for you is for you! Stop comparing yourself to others when your stuff has your name on it. Your thing won’t look like someone else’s simply because your gifts are different. Your influence is different. Imagine you have been wanting to claim what is yours in life, but you can’t have it because you are walking around with your hands full of someone else’s stuff trying to have what they have or be like them. When you accept the fullness of who you are and walk in your truth daily, you will quickly run towards the authentic you and what is yours to conquer. Take time to know and celebrate you! Cultivate your God-given talents and celebrate the fullness of the purpose you’ve been given. Put comparison in its place by taking back your time. Log out certain times of the day and dedicate that to focusing on you, your loved ones and being mindful in that moment. Your stuff, what’s for you has your name on it. The thing is, you must know who you are to claim your stuff! Put down what belongs to others, take time to know who you are and go get what’s yours. That’s the key to wholeness and conquering this silent killer called comparison.
Melissa D. White is the Creator and Certified Sales & Marketing Coach of The Activation Hour, LLC. As an International Speaker, Radio Personality, and Certified Life Coach. Her mission is to activate voices and amplify stories to help others been seen and heard at work and in the world.